while they get drunk, faded, hyphy, and stupid
I sit and think, with my family, my blood.
I wonder if I am torn, I decide it's possible
I miss it each day
getting high, hanging out
without a care in the whole world
In a flash I realize the contradictions
I need to succeed
I have to go to college
I need to buckle down and focus
I cannot betray them
I cannot lie to him
I mustn't do that
I don't want to sit back and watch it all pass by my eyes
but i don't want to sit back and get high while my future passes by
Is there a balance?
Even if there was, I'd be lying
I have no idea
what is going
on in my
mind these days
on top of it all, I have some sort of infatuation with this certain thing, guy.
I am out of place, and of thought
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If it makes any difference, any difference in the world. Then I should say that no matter what decision you decide to make, the only way anyone would want to contradict you would be for your safety and well-being. Make the choice that hurts you less, happy more, and not for anyone else but only for yourself. Because in the end, it's you that will be living with the consequences or the satisfaction of your choice. I trust you.
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