what.

the ugly one.


.....yeah.











11:11.

I wish for this to be over with before the torture sets in.




I hate my life, my hasty decisions, my looks, my attitude, my stupid sarcasm, and most of all, I hate that I hate myself!
I get it from my mom. I cannot believe she relapsed

I cannot wrap my mind around that

feels like I was just stabbed

I know everyone has their problems, but I can't help but feel that some people have petty little drama immature freshmen-esque fights.
I hate that we all do.
But what I hate is, I don't have anyway to release the resentment, betrayal, abuse, anger, and overall hatred I feel.

I don't wanna talk about it, because then everyone thinks I talk about my issues too much, and besides, this is HIGH SCHOOL. People aren't interested in serious issues, just the petty little drama.
I understand, but I really could use a hug, not any hug, but one that actually says, I'm sorry your mom blew 16 months of sobriety, and I'm sorry that you feel like it's your fault, and I 'm sorry that you always start to trust her again, and then she hurts you so much that you just want to drink til you blackout, just like her.

I don't expect, nor even hope for anyone to do this.
Hugs I receive are not for comforting, and I just want one, once.
It hurts.