For some reason each time i go to class, a Beatles' song delineates my path. Except, it doesn't have anything to do with what I'm doing, so it's essentially just music playing in my head on my way to class. It also isn't always a Beatles' song, it also happens to be some derivative of the Beatles, some times it's a George Harrison Song, and others, it's a Paul McCartney song. but it always follows a schedule. the schedule is as follows:
PERIOD I'M GOING TO|SONG THAT'S PLAYING first period(US History) ............| I Should Have Known Better (The Beatles) second(French III) ....................| All Those Years Ago (George Harrison) third(Chemistry) .......................| Hold Me Tight (The Beatles) fourth(Advanced Algebra) .......| It's Only Love(The Beatles) fifth(English) ..............................| Say Say Say(Paul McCartney) sixth(Art) ...................................| I've Got My Mind Set On You(George Harrison) on my way to the car ................| Maybe I'm Amazed, also, Live and Let Die(both Paul McCartney)
ANYWAY, I am totally bored, and wasting my Saturday night, but I don't have much else to do. i've been reading xkcd.com comics, pretty funny :)
My migraine just seems to get worse by the second. The throbbing goes along with "Now You're Gone" by Basshunter it's quite enjoyable well, about as enjoyable as a migraine gets. I feel empty inside. her words seem to follow me in my sleep, and when they're not following, they're keeping me up. "Elisa ENJOY the journey of life, every bend is a new path, a new joy to discover, you'll find every moment has a divine PURPOSE, LIVE LIFE!" yeah, sure. well, this journey is too hard to go at alone I wish I had someone, or something to help me in this gay journey. but, all I have is my princess, Lillie. she's the only one who doesnt have a problem of her own. she seems to listen so well too. She just plops down and purrs, as if her mission in life was to listen. I don't want school to start. I don't wanna face that stupid drama again. People really piss me off, the worse part is, no has done anything to actually anger me. Its like, seeing someone breathing, and being happy makes me clench my jaw. I'm not sad or anything, I just get angry. The thing that angers me the most is that people actually pretend to care. Its like, okay, you are so transparent. Its so obvious you don't care. Just leave me alone. I honestly just want to go to Canada and escape this. I honestly want to be a lawyer and everything, but if i have to go through this to get there, I'm starting to wonder if its worth it. High school is the pure insanity. How so many people can be so judging is beyond me. Its like a fucking grand jury of KKK members, and I'm the black person on trial. And the worst part is, I just want him. I don't know who he is yet. I just know I want him.
dawg, i feel crazy discontent. idk. cant wait for school :O not really but i wanna meet new people, y'know? well, im not even tired, but sleep is my best bet. life is so flipflopped these days its like, left is right, right is up
i think im going to write poems again yeah, i think i will
i am also quite indecisive its like, do i want to breath? and i cant make up my mind i never know if what i feel is real like my emotions are tricking me its really odd i feel off. like, im balancing on my leg, and my bad leg at that
and its fucking pissing me off that my "i"s are lowercased but im far too lazy to fix 'em all.
my thoughts are fucked man. not like bad, but not straight but not like, homo thoughts just not clear its like my brain needs some windex, y'know? maybe meeting new people will be like, my windex or maybe writing poems again....
kay, well i guess i should go to sleep
if i can. idk there isnt anything on my mind, but i still manage to not sleep
i wish i was 4 again i could play with my toys, and play with billy and walk to the park in new york city and live i havent felt the simple joy of almost touching the big tree with my little feet in awhile. i wonder if that park is still there, with the same swingset that made my afternoon it was my spot of sincere serenity, my north star in my busy night sky i just never knew haa. to be four again......
inhale, boy does it feel nice to think exhale. if only I knew how to solve problems inhale, I'm very afraid of what happens next exhale. The only calm in this storm is my ability to clear my brain inhale, with each breath, is a clear thought. exhale. Oh wow, the world. oh look a child. the world is busy. the child fell. busy world messes up. should i help the child. messes up my thoughts. STOP. breathe, inhale, exhale. calm the storm. inhale, exhale.
It was a cool October day, and there was a young boy, no older than ten, outside in the front lawn of a house raking leaves. An activity that is very common in autumn, especially in the suburbs. The boy’s name is Daniel, he is saving money to buy a goldfish, hence the leaf raking. Daniel, or Danny, really wants to buy this goldfish, but his parents are forcing him to prove that he is responsible enough to have a fish by making him save up the money himself. They have their doubts about his responsibility because his toys are always broken, and his games are always missing pieces. What they do not know is that Daniel is not the one doing this, his older brother Adam is accidentally breaking his toys, and then soon after, he blames Daniel, because he does not want to get in trouble.
Chapter 2
Daniel has now saved up just enough money to get a goldfish. His father drives him to the pet store. The car ride was the happiest journey that Daniel ever embarked on. As the lines moved on the roads, and as the trees flew by his window, all he could think about was his goldfish. He went over each potential name in his head, he was filled with discontent, and he wasn’t sure what he was going to call his new fish. He soon arrived at the pet store. He jumped out of the car, slammed the door closed with out locking it, and ran like he was escaping someone’s evil clutches. He ran through the parking lot, angering his father, and he continued to run all the way to the front door. He flew past an elderly couple with a dog, and rudely didn’t hold the door open for them. If it was a normal day, he would have, but right now, politeness was the last thing on his mind. His young, big eyes searched the store. His heart jumped when he found the fish department. His father finally caught up to Daniel, and escorted his extremely eager son over to the glass covered wall filled with millions of prospective friends for the ten year old boy. Daniel studied each and every fish, he was admiring each one. His eyes lit up when he saw it, he not only saw the fish he wanted, but he also saw his new best friend, and he saw their future together. At that very moment, he knew what he was going to call him. He was to call his new best friend Clandestine. He also realized that he wanted to keep his best friend to himself; he was not going to let any one see or admire Clandestine, especially not his older brother Adam.
Chapter 3
Over the weeks, his secret goldfish was talked about all through the house. Daniel kept little Clandestine up in his room on his night stand, and every night he would cover up the fish’s bowl with a small green cloth. No one had seen Clandestine, with the exception of Daniel’s father, who was there when he picked the fish out. Adam was getting antsy, he was really annoyed. All Daniel talked about was how great Clandestine was, and how beautiful Clandestine was. Adam really wanted to see the fish for himself; he wanted to admire the fish too. All he wanted was one measly, little glance! Adam concocted a seemingly brilliant plan, he would sneak into Daniels room when he was sleeping, and look at Clandestine. Two days later, at approximately ten-thirty PM, Adam got out of bed and slowly crept out of his room. He saw Daniel’s room across the hall. He slowly reached the pine door that belonged to Clandestine and Daniel’s room. He gently pushed open the door, hoping to avoid loud creaking, but to his dismay, the door let out a slight creaky noise. He peered around the room to see if Daniel heard the noise. It appeared as if Daniel didn’t hear it. Daniel did though, and he woke up.
Chapter 4
Daniel just lay there, facing his beautiful fish, and waited silently. He heard Adam tip toe over to the nightstand. He saw Adam’s hand reach over to uncover the fortress that held Clandestine. Daniel could not watch any longer, he let out a scream. Adam, startled by the yelp, fell down. As he was getting up, he told Daniel to be quiet. Daniel went to let out another yell, but was muted by Adam’s clammy hand, the same one that almost unveiled Daniel’s beloved.Once Adam saw that Daniel was calmed down, he released his hand from his mouth. Right After doing so, he asked his younger brother why he was not allowed to look at Clandestine. Daniel was still raving with anger; therefore, stayed quiet. Adam asked again, to no avail. Daniel took a few more minutes before he explained himself. He told Adam that Clandestine was his fish, not Adam’s. He also explained that he loved it so much, and no one else was allowed to look at it, or love it. Not even Adam. Adam didn’t quite understand this logic. He told Daniel that if you love something, or someone, you should let everyone see it. You should show the world how proud you are, and what you’re proud of. He went on to say that if Clandestine is so remarkably beautiful, everyone should see it. Daniel understood, but still had his doubts. He explained to Adam that he was afraid that his fish would end up loving someone else more, and then Clandestine would want to be someone else’s fish, and would leave him. Adam almost wanted to laugh at that remark; he didn’t think that fish really experienced emotions. He humored Daniel though, and said that there is no way that a fish could run away. Daniel was offended, how stupid did Adam think he was? Daniel told Adam that he was more worried that Clandestine was going to secretly long to be someone else’s fish, and that he was worried that Clandestine was going to never be happy again. Adam sighed, and said to Daniel that he is going to have to take that chance. He also said that the odds of Daniel’s fish loving anyone more than he loves Daniel were slim. Daniel let a tear stream down his cheek, he was anxious. He got off of his bed, and got over his fear. He uncovered his fish, and made himself vulnerable to rejection. Adam smiled at his brother, and then took in all of the majestic beauty that Clandestine had to offer. Daniel sat back down on his bed with his brother, they both sat there in utter silence, admiring Clandestine.
1. What are the eastern conference basketball standings, as of today, February 13th 2009.
2. What are five synonyms and one antonym for the word "love" (because it is almost valentines day and all)
3. What conservative blog features "the elephant trunk" and also has an entry about Ronald Reagan's should have been 98th birthday?
4. Where could you find information about drugs, their effects, and how long they last?
5. According to Urban Dictionary, Canada is what to America?
6. Also according to Urban Dictionary, Mexico is what to America?
7. How tall was the 31st president of the U.S.?
8. Which stone are they talking about "The water content is usually between three and ten percent, but can be as high as twenty percent." hint: Australia's national gemstone
9. Which suburb of Chicago, as of the 2000 census, the city had a total population of 19,515? hint: In Kane County
10. Born November 23, 1859(1859-11-23)Bor, which American frontier outlaw, according to legend killed 21 people, one for each year of his life?
11. What two movies did the actor that played opposite of River Phoenix in the drama My Own Private Idaho star in during 1995?
12. Lastly, what are 7 indications that someone has been doing meth?
I doubt you'll read this, I doubt that you care I just want you to know that I love you, and I will always be there If for some reason I'm not, Just know I'm there in thought.
Say what you wish, Think what you need I am more than a bit skittish You were once my steed
I strive for your acceptance You were once my friend Now there is an infinite distance I am aware that this has come to an end
In the car crash that is I You were once the air bag Now you are everyone that passes by There is an apparent lag
The vexation between us The hatred you feel Even though there was definite bias It was I behind the wheel
Fun times accompany the sorrow or is it rather that the sorrow accompanies the fun? either way, I am saddened. You have demolished my soul. I let you back in, you broke my heart again on your way out. I do not know why you insist that I did something to you. I do not understand, for the only thing I did was like someone. I miss you, but you are an ass, alas alas.
