It is weird how things happen
It is weird how much I long for something so out of my reach that I justify silly things
I am so fucking disappointed, please do not ask why
I am also very sick
102 fever
but that is not even what concerns me.
I wish I could feel better, and go to the store, spend money on something I never want to talk about
I hate myself, and I realize the things I do to make myself feel better, make me feel worse
also, I really want this, this thing
and I need it, but I cannot obtain it
granted, I am not trying too hard
everyone else around me, all have something nice to say, except for.
I feel quite dirty, and lonely
I wish I could be held in her arms again
I wish that somehow, someway I could just reach my goal, I made a goal to live for, but I'm afraid if I do not reach my goal, I will hurt myself, someone, anything.
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