butterfly fly away

rising mourning
the sun doth not shine on thee
it may appear to be beautiful
but that is the water's reflection
not me, that you see
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

"I want to fall in love"
she cried. His response?
"No, darling, you do not"
He lied, with a certain nuance
She was baffled by this
Who, she wondered, who has he been in love with?
Why is he telling me this?

He lied, he lied.
He may hate each and every moment that he loves her
but truth be told, he loves each moment she spends with him
her laugh, the way she pushes her hair to her cheek
this never gets old, he turns to her when he feels unbelievably grim
she knows exactly what to say, what to do
the only thing she doesn't say is, "I love you"

She may never realize this
love, true love, sits there
staring in front of her

years pass, pass on by
quickly she met a boy
sadly, they continued on
leaving him in the dust
left with a suitcase filled with unrequited love
love, and lust
he misses her, she kisses her beau

life went on, love left untouched

Blows my mind

It is amazing, bordering on funny
I have all these emotions, these desires
you don't even realize it, or notice me
or remember me, or see me
but, being the creepy admirer that I am
I know all too much of you, of you
about you, about it, about how we will never be

Somethings just aren't meant to be,
most of these things are,
you just have to open your eyes to see

Look up, look around
get your eyes off the ground
see me standing here
Kick it up, switch your gear

I wish to meet you, to see you
to know you, to love you
to be with you, to kiss you

If only you noticed what is in your destiny
fate will only take you so far
you have to be involved,
I hope to see you soon

Je ne sais pas

Have you ever traveled upon a road for so long that you forget which way it is going?
I always get lost in my direction
I will be heading westward, but I can swear to you the road looks northbound

This is a parallel to my life
I have just made that connection

I am so anxious, apprehensive
I do not want it to come near
I do not want to grow up

I am lost
I know where I am going, as in, I know the desired end location
but I have no clue which way this road is going

je voudrais tu m'aimer

I don't wanna fade away

falling asleep is hard
dreaming sweet dreams is hard too
waking up is sort of hard
but getting up, getting up gets me each day
the desire to get up, I don't have

but I do have a cute little kitty who has a knack for jumping on mt bed at the right time :)

first title that has nothing to do with a song

tu es beau, et tu es brilliant, et tu es incroyable, et je voudrais etre avec toi
mais, hélas, je ne vous ai pas même rencontré pourtant
peut-être j'ai.
la vérité est, je souhaitent que vous ayez été lui

you are so perfect, you are witty
you are clever, smart, and very intuitive
you can tell by my smile exactly what I am thinking
but, as I said, I have not even met you

vous vous demandez si nous sommes censés pour être
vous ne savez pas que j'existe encore,
ou peut-être vous faites.
jusqu'à ce que nous nous réunissions,
mon amour,
je vous manquerai

I wonder if you long for me
you wonder who longs for you
I cannot wait to meet you
or until I see you again

trouble ahead, trouble behind

je crois que tu es incroyable. tu es vraiment inaccessible
je ne parle pas du garçon que je désire habituellement, ma vieille convoitise pour cet étranger a été rétabli

aussi, Viktorria, je t'aime.

Shakedown Street

ugly, unbelievable
completely careless
stupid, shudder-some
hastily hating
partly petrified
lustful long-shot
alliteratively awful
terribly tired
killing kingdoms
FUCKING FRUSTRATED

marry Mary so she'll be merry
Mustn't murder Martha
kill kittens, carry cats, kiss Carrie, capture costly children
pretty practical, practically perfect planning!

she says hey babe

being unique is just another way of following the crowd; jus' sayin'


..take a walk on the wild side

And in the middle of the celebrations I break down.

prestige
precise
precious
preemptively
preamble
promptly
practically
purposfully
purge
positive
punctual
push
puss
promiscuity
pistachio
piscatorial
predator

PRETTY MUCH,

I am so drawn to it
like a moth to a flame
but it'll end up the same
nothing'll happen, I will quit

so filled with rage
I have hatred deep inside
she, it, everything really hurts my pride
in death I wish to engage

murder, lurks around every corner
each step down each hall,
off the floor, they'd crawl
someone better call the coroner


sounds like a disturbing joke
just for a reaction, for the humor
it's like an intrusive murderous tumor
crazed, anyone I must choke

loud, abrupt gusts of wind
slamming my door shut
snaps me out of this angry rut
forgive me, I have sinned

she wished and prayed she could stop living, so she decided to die

HAHA.
I thought, for a split second that I, Elisa Heather, stood a chance with this guy.
clearly I did not. this is ridiculous.
I do not know why I care so much, it isn't like there was a mutual feeling, or mutual knowing of names, or mutual knowing of each others existence.
I'm going to the NBA game tonight, I almost do not even like basketball anymore.

I'm far too tired to fall asleep

Isn't it funny..

hahah-no, it is not.

this breathing thing, what a daunting task
my chest feels like it is being sat on

yaaaaay.

luckily I am so exhausted that I have no trouble sleeping this week

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell

some things are easily regretted

regretted during, regretted before even

but who cares.
I'll just deal.

my 104 fever went down to 100
I feel well enough to look at computer screen, getting somewhere

how does one undo something?

how does one obtain someone?

how does one know if they're ........ before their ......?

how does one do their homework if they're dying?

how does one miss zero period drivers ed?


in other news...

how is it that I've played a song 16 times, but I have no clue what it is...

I am alone until 5
:/

I feel like everyone knows

but, if anyone did, I'd die.

his rival it seems, has broken his dreams

It is weird how things happen

It is weird how much I long for something so out of my reach that I justify silly things

I am so fucking disappointed, please do not ask why

I am also very sick
102 fever

but that is not even what concerns me.
I wish I could feel better, and go to the store, spend money on something I never want to talk about

I hate myself, and I realize the things I do to make myself feel better, make me feel worse

also, I really want this, this thing
and I need it, but I cannot obtain it

granted, I am not trying too hard

everyone else around me, all have something nice to say, except for.

I feel quite dirty, and lonely

I wish I could be held in her arms again

I wish that somehow, someway I could just reach my goal, I made a goal to live for, but I'm afraid if I do not reach my goal, I will hurt myself, someone, anything.

I cant help myself from how my heart is racing

always vacant

maybe I'll switch it up

take it off my mind

so, maybe I'll take a break

or cheat.....

;)