what.

the ugly one.


.....yeah.











11:11.

I wish for this to be over with before the torture sets in.




I hate my life, my hasty decisions, my looks, my attitude, my stupid sarcasm, and most of all, I hate that I hate myself!
I get it from my mom. I cannot believe she relapsed

I cannot wrap my mind around that

feels like I was just stabbed

I know everyone has their problems, but I can't help but feel that some people have petty little drama immature freshmen-esque fights.
I hate that we all do.
But what I hate is, I don't have anyway to release the resentment, betrayal, abuse, anger, and overall hatred I feel.

I don't wanna talk about it, because then everyone thinks I talk about my issues too much, and besides, this is HIGH SCHOOL. People aren't interested in serious issues, just the petty little drama.
I understand, but I really could use a hug, not any hug, but one that actually says, I'm sorry your mom blew 16 months of sobriety, and I'm sorry that you feel like it's your fault, and I 'm sorry that you always start to trust her again, and then she hurts you so much that you just want to drink til you blackout, just like her.

I don't expect, nor even hope for anyone to do this.
Hugs I receive are not for comforting, and I just want one, once.
It hurts.

hey, YOU

wanna see my glasses?

here are my far away, everyday ones

these are my computer, video games, reading ones

sleep is for smushies

I like to think that I can do this,
this whole not sleep thing


not too sure though.

it is now sunlight!

well, now I'm watching some movies!

maybe I'll convince pops to get me Mickey D's
one could only hope.

Billy gave me this sweet poster, I'm satisfied


I'm gonna get a Reagan cut-out one day.

I studied some of my SAT book. It wasn't terrible.

Lucy is somewhat admirable in Across The Universe
I'm glad we share the name ;)

I've been texting viktorria all night

well, I'm gonna see if my dad is awake!

bright eyes

big city.

Lately I've been thinking


Maybe I should not be doing something that terrible

That is all I have to say

rage!

things that are freaking me out right now:
Starting school
money, or, lack of rather.
that lengthy list of things I need for school
unfinished summer assignments
AP French...
school itself
college. fucking college.
D:<
how is it that I knew where I wanted to go and everything, but now I have no clue.
school, again. I was stoked, and now I am not
I can't draw, or do anything good art-wise
I lost any talent I had.

.....friday I am not doing anything but homework, and saturday I am going to the art museum for hw.
sunday, sunday I shall finish up, and then kill myself.


honestly I had no clue I'd make it this far in life
I thought I was going to die before college, in fact I was sort of relying on it.
Alas, I lived, now I have to deal with this.
I'm on the verge of tears here.

hiya

heh

a few things I'd like to say:

1) Atonement will never cease to amaze me
I really want to read it.
2) I'm gonna get my bellybutton pierced
I really am scared.
................but not of the pain

3) I'm getting my hair dyed.
<----like so
4) Lindsay Lohan is so beautiful, and after Atonement is over, I think I may watch Georgia Rule and ogle her beauty
5) I need to do my summer assignments
6) ************************

78th post

I think that I have come to the conclusion that my kitties aren't fighting
but in fact are play fighting!
after reading countless articles
haha
I feel better

but yeah
That is that

tragic

I do not have much to say, other than the fact that you are nothing more than a minor figment of everything that I thought was true; in reality, it was nothing more than an overextended, intricate, melodious lie.
It was a nice night.

RETURN SWOOP

I LOVE YOU ELISA
I'm so glad you're back, you light up my life
I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, yes homo <3


love, Vik

watching Help!
:)
wiff Vikky and Catherine



yayyA

:p

Shy That Way. Jason Mraz & Tristan Prettyman

felt like posting... :)
____________________
You know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
And I’m running always running
And now I’m crying
Iyou know only cause I’m caring
And if you were more daring
Maybe you’d stop staring
And come over and talk to me
Tell me bout how you’ve been waiting so patiently
And how you tried but I just turned away
And I’ll say yeah well you know,
I’m shy that way

Shy that way
Maybe I’m shy that way

Ohh you know you’re stunning
You’re absolutely stunning
But you’re always runnin
But I’ll catch up to you
The way you keep your distance is
Keeping my interest
So I’ll keep it persistent
Ohh maybe someday
Someway, somehow in some town
We’ll get together and
We’ll break it down
And I’ll ask why you ever been
so shy, gotta be that way
Maybe baby, oh love, I like it that way

Shy that way
You know I love you so shy,
Shy that way

So keep it comin comin comin comin
Shy that way

There’s always too much talking
And I wanna just keep walking
But I keep staring baby
Keep staring
Though I may not know the right things to say
I’ll get it out to you one day

I’m shy that way
You’re shy that way
Do you like it
Do you like it?
When I’m shy this way?
Yes I like it
Yes I like it
When you’re shy

Shy that way

I like it
I like it shy
You know it’s alright, it’s ok
Cause we’re
Shy that way…

only to be taken in moderation

I love words
I love reading them
I love writing them
I love hearing them spoken eloquently
I love hearing them sung with passion

I love manipulating them to fit with however you are feeling

Words, words keep me sane

Words, words keep me on track

I love saying something, and knowing just the word to use

I love learning new words

I love my thesaurus

catherine actually reads this!

well, eventful?
no.
but my day was interesting
I am now in Ohio.
again.
fuck. my. life.

I work tomorrow, and then I leave monday OFF TO HOME!

I cannot wait any longer!









miss you vviikkttoorrrriiaa