oh, hi, ho!

Each time I step outside I am greeted with a breeze,
and the weather is 71 degrees.
I have no one here, other than my mother,
I don't mind, I just wish there was another.

I miss my Viktorria, also my father
my cat too, but I wont bother.
That is a stanza for another time,
now let me make this line rhyme.

Onto onto a whole new topic,
do not be mistaken, I am not homesick.
It's just that there is nothing to do,
as far as fun goes, Ohio is being a "jew"

Now, I know if Viktorria is reading this,
she smiled at that, maybe even let out a chuckle
It is her laughter that I mostly miss,
the sweet, sweet snort, beautiful chortle.

<3

wondering

when did these become notes?
why did these become less about feelings, and more about hurting them?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
anyway.


im leaving thursday morning
i sort of wish it was for good.

I'm absolutely looking forward to a new me, one no one knows.
not even her.
i can meet more people as this new person.
no judgment of my change

I'm looking backward on this whole thing, who knows.
i love her, and will miss her uncontrollably.
if anything happens, drastic, i may have to fly back and kick some ass

the only care i have is my friend and my family.
but, oddly enough, they are the same.
now, I'm going insane, and this is a crazy rant.
i love you, and her, and them.

TRUTH IS:

I am absolutely envious of their friendship

I wish we were still

I am absolutely envious of the way you can manipulate colors to say what words cannot

I wish I had the talent

I am absolutely envious of the way she can write

I wish I would have done it

I am absolutely envious of her opportunities

I wish I would have learned

I am absolutely envious of their romance

I wish that I could have one

I am not at all envious of all the lies
I'm completely grateful for what I have with her, and not you.

I am not at all envious of your losses
Is it even worth it in the end?

I am not at all envious of the work
Although, I am envious of the passion

I am not at all envious of her mistakes
But I would have made the same

I am not at all envious of the drama
Honestly, I am not worth his time

drastically

fantastically


broken lust

spoken trust

why must you lie?

so uptight

so downloose.

kiss a bird, hug a cloud
be so high, you cannot see the ground
I'm not talking about drugs, let it be natural
eu-phor-ia

laugh for no reason,
smile from ear to ear
please, be happy.

just for me?

cold

i swear i was going to type a genius poem, with a little quirky hidden meaning, and it was going to be for you, and you were going to be mesmerized, i swear! but then, i realized that you are in my mind, and that you will never even read this. it was at that point that i forgot what i was going to type.


i love when you pass by
i hate when you pass me by

i killed her too, and it was great

you cried, laughed, and then you kissed your left index finger.

sound familiar?

one more thing
joy I could bring

my lust is never-ending
my plan is just beginning

crazy as it seems
it'll burst at it's seams

mingling, tingling,
shakes, stutters
nervous laughs

undressing this moment, caressing each statement

sensible nonsense, making no sense: haunting your conscience

nonsense playing again again again and again

coughing in the background, my glasses fogging in the meantime

my soul leeching onto anyone's, absorbing their vitality, to cover up what I lack

though I don't need it, I take what you cant have

beauty radiates off the girl nearest me, I mentally steal each piece of her gorgeousness

you smile, make it all worthwhile.

he laughs, making me blush.

she comes back, and that's that.