does anyone read this?

So, I'm sick ):

my throat hurts like a bitch.

I am like, dying of chills.

ANYWAY.

I have YET ANOTHER SURGERY on April 2nd, I'm not excited.

Totally ruined my weekend plans.

it is alright though.

I weigh 107.6 pounds. In case you were wondering.
I feel so fat though, it doesn't make sense.

I am the luckiest girl in the world....

Well, almost.


I want to write a little poem about my emotions, about everything
But I cannot admit it to it.

my space bar is broken, whutta BITCH.

:)

today was impossibly long.

i'm so exhausted!

i cannot wait til this weekend,
but yeah.

so...

Life is turning out to be amazing.
so wonderful, i could just sing

i love each moment i live,
my smiles aren't even fictive.

the happiness is everlasting,
despite the hurt you've been casting

Pledge to Be Proud

Flags waving,
People pledging

Diverse people.

Each have different backgrounds,
But each have the same future

the future is freedom, and pride

It is a beautiful site
3 kids in a kindergarten class
all pledge to the flag, all unsure of what they want to be.
one could be the president, running the beautiful nation
one could be the congressman that writes up the bills
one could be the voter filling out a ballot, and electing these officials

they may not aspire to do these things, but the opportunities are given

no matter your skin
no matter your ancestors
no matter your sex

the flag will always wave,
I will always pledge

slept away

ideally
in a perfect world.

but that is not what we live in.
That is not what we have

I do not get what I want
instead I have to be awake.
Instead I have to not get that.
get it, you get it?

I admire that.
I want that.
But it is not within my grasp
so, instead I settle.
I settle with being awake.

But that's okay.
I still get wonderful things
like my accomplices, and accomplishments

accomplices, accompany me, in my wrongdoings

they also are my colleagues, helping me in right-doings.

together, her and I, and them and I, we shall fix this, or make it worse.
It does not really matter, as long as we're in control.


world domination is not what I speak of.
Instead I speak of sleeping. Sleeping all day long.
just dream up anything, and everything.

Do not fear the nightmares. They are only your deepest fears, and once you sleep all day, you will never experience real fears, real tragedies ever again.
You can dream up, concoct that person to never betray you.

Almost

delayed to a great extent
there it sits, almost as a symbol of my future

smoked to a greater extent
there it burns, almost as a symbol of my apathy

listened to a greatest extent
there it plays, almost as a symbol of my life

But not quite, because I will get up, and I get going.

my one true love

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away,
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,
There's a shadow hanging over me,
Oh yesterday came suddenly.....
Why she had to go I don't know. She wouldn't say.
I said something wrong, now I long for yesterday,
Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
Oh I believe in yesterday.....

hunger

I seem to have lost my inspiration.

I miss Anahi, but I doubt she notices.

I wish I could sit here, and genuinely smile.

I love life, but, a lot is missing.


goodnight.






each night i am haunted with nightmares
i'm afraid to fall asleep.
each night my fears come to life, and haunt me.
each night, i see her stare down my soul, and devour each and every piece of me.
each night i live a completely unfulfilled, worthless life.
each night it starts over again.
each wall in my dream is coated in red.
each hall is long and seemingly endless.