baby

Halloween can SUCK my DICK

:/
haha
I totally DOMINATED my english essays. :o
so, I guess I have an actual crush on someone.
Not like a HUGE omg crush, but a crush.
:) its the legitish first one since july.
but i dont know if he likes me
i've heard speculation that he does, but you cant be too sure these days.
w/eeee
new seating chart in art.
i FAILED my math test, ofc.

talking about sex

welll, today i decided to swallow all fear of awkwardness and ask my dad about sex.
I asked him if i could get birth control when i become sexually active. He seemed okay with it, a little bit hesitant. he said to talk to him when i do. and to be sure im ready. he understands that i'd rather talk to my mom about it, but she wont be here anytime soon...
i figure i wont have sex til im in love, yadda yadda yadda.... so, idk....
life can be weird...

fools game?

i think almost everyone has made a wish at 11:11
and i think we all want it to come true. although the most common are the most unlikely
overnight love, money, family things..

i tend to wish to pass tests, for boys to notice me, and the most common, to go back east.


i guess this is random, but yeah, it was 11:11 and yeeaahh

lost.......and found 6 years later

so! my old best friend from Massachusetts added me on myspace.
I am still in shock.

I don't ever want to lose touch of Vik or Anahi or ADRI for that long

:/

well, ahh
<3_<3

that one guy looked at me today, for awhile.
i saw him check me out, haha.

OH YEAH!

heh, there is another guy,

4th guy, well he knows i exist but he'd rather check out Viktorria.

MONDAY

ugh, another boring day.
although, I did have a little bit of fun...
i have 4 tests tomorrow

BUT yay, tomorrow is a late day
:p

so, i guess you can say that i wanna add another boy to my admiration list...

1st guy is taken D:
2nd guy doesnt know i exist
3rd guy wants sex.

heh. none will work, but that doesnt mean i cant admire <3_<3

oh. and, i am definitely planning a job in politics

...so tired.

Sunday...

It haunts us all..

fuck, as much fun as i had last night, it still continues to haunt me

i think i fucked up in some choices that id really like to change

my mind is so fucked up.

i don't know what to do

and i cant even talk to like, anyone about it.

it haunts me like a sunday evening....


IRRELEVANTLY
fuck, i dont care about boys anymore haha
i just wanna use them for a good time

...uh idk though

i really want a relationship
and i dont mean like a flowers or anniversary worshiping one either

i want a best friend, that i can trust my soul with, and also parts of my soul i wouldnt trust girls with.
idk, i want a boy that wants me to be his best friend, and thats all that i think a successful relationship takes.

but then again, i've never had one...
..let alone any relationship

this is pissing me off

...what exactly?
LIFE.

boys = none.
girls = drama.
school = slow
dad = work
mom = ohio
billy = too cool for me
home = empty


im just going on an emo rant,
haha ;p

not like anyone is going to read this....


HOMECOMING PICTURE





anyway!
so, i have this theory that pretty girls dont creep, they just admire...

and, im sorta, "admiring" a few boys
one has a girl friend
the other, well he doesnt know i exist
WELL there was this one time that he came over to talk to Billy, and he looked at me
heh <3_<3 but, he isnt billys age i think hes like my age or younger




god, im so pathetic, idk whats wrong with me